9 Natural Ways to Get Out of Libido Limbo
Many women confide in me that they have deep negative or anxious feelings about their sexuality. The number one question I get is, “Why do I have so little desire?”
In several recent studies, roughly one in three women reported low or no sexual desire. Other studies have found even higher percentages of low libido among women, particularly women over 50.
If you’re in libido limbo, take heart. There are many ways to regain the sexual excitement and desire of youth, no matter how old you are. Here are nine strategies to get you started.
1. Add super-libido foods to your diet
Enjoy foods and supplements that are unusually rich in nutrients, vitamins, and minerals. The following have unique potential to promote your sexual well-being: flaxseeds, hemp seeds, chia seeds, pumpkin seeds, coconut oil, pomegranates, blueberry juice, acai juice, mangosteen juice, cruciferous vegetables (especially broccoli sprouts), green tea, and shiitake mushrooms.
2. Get sex-enhancing exercise
Exercise has many beneficial effects on hormones that promote high libido, but balance is the key. You want to get the benefits of both aerobic exercise (exercises that make you sweat and raise your heart rate) and resistance exercise like weightlifting—at least 20 minutes of each, three to four times a week. You can also use the Chinese principle of yin and yang to achieve balance. Examples of yin (mellow) exercises are walking, canoeing in a lake, swimming in a pool, slow ballroom dancing, or gentle hatha yoga. Yang (rigorous) exercises might include mountain biking, running, high-impact aerobics, tennis, or heavy weightlifting.
3. Detox your home for better sex drive
Toxins in our environment wreak havoc on our libido. Ridding your house of them will have dramatic effects. When your body is no longer bombarded with chemicals it can’t easily process, it won’t have to expend so much energy flushing out toxins—and you’ll feel your energy and sex drive increase. Go through every cabinet, drawer, and shelf in your house, swapping chemical cleaning products and person care products for all-natural versions that work just as well. Throw out nonstick Teflon pans, and dump all plastic containers in the recycle bin.
4. Cleanse your body from the inside out
Do a 21-day dietary cleanse and you’ll feel the difference in your libido. Eliminate all gluten and sugar from your diet during the cleanse. For grains, consume only rice, quinoa, amaranth, tapioca, and buckwheat. Eat a multicolored raw salad every day. Up your vegetable intake—particularly cruciferous vegetables (green leafers like cabbage, broccoli, kale, and bok choy). Avoid dairy and egg products. Limit your protein to organic poultry, wild salmon, and beans and legumes. Minimize your fruit intake. Every day drink at least 12 ounces of water with lemon juice added. Dry brush your body once a day before you shower or bathe, and try to visit a sauna at least twice a week to sweat out toxins.
5. Supplement to support your midlife libido
For midlife women, low libido may be tied to how efficiently your body metabolizes (breaks down) estrogen. The following foods and nutritional supplements will noticeably improve your body’s ability to make friendly estrogen and eliminate “unfriendly” estrogen: seaweed, cruciferous vegetables, DIM (short for diindolylmethane, a cruciferous vegetable extract), and calcium D-glucarate. Finally, try liver lipotropic formula, a blend of herbs and nutrients that helps your liver break down toxins more efficiently and supports your friendly estrogen metabolism.
6. Try herbal aphrodisiacs
Here’s a list of my top 12 herbal aphrodisiacs. Their benefits vary from one person to the next, so you may need to experiment to discover which suits you best: Chinese ginseng, cordyceps, rehmannia, epimedium, reishi, Ginkgo biloba, catuaba, suma root, muira puama, damiana, maca, and yohimbine. Some of these may be familiar to you, others not. You can learn more about what they are and how to take them in my book.
7. Consume libido-enhancing foods and supplements
If you consistently take nutritional supplements and follow the 21-day cleanse, you’ll notice a change in your libido. These supplements and foods can pack an extra punch of pleasure potential: L-arginine, an amino acid; PEA, known as the “love supplement” and short for phenylethylamine; sweet potatoes; chocolate; oysters; chili peppers; and honey.
8. Minimize anti-aphrodisiac foods in your diet
A few dietary options deserve special attention for their potential to seriously hamper your long-term sexual health and libido. These include alcohol, a toxin that has a negative effect on your sex hormones; fatty foods, which make you feel heavy and lethargic; trans fats, which obstruct male as well as female hormone production; sugar, which reduces your ability to become aroused by increasing the stress hormone cortisol; and caffeine, which breaks down testosterone, which is vital to libido.
9. Use your mind to create a sexy lifestyle
Stress and lack of time are two factors that contribute to low libido. Manage your stress so you feel more relaxed and in touch with your body, then create more time to spend with your partner. Good communication is also important for a sexy lifestyle. Sharing intimate thoughts and feelings is a definite aphrodisiac. Work on building “sexual trust”—a woman’s capacity for pleasure is closely linked to her brain’s ability to release inhibition, suspend judgment, and let down her guard, all of which is possible when the relationship feels safe and dependable. Finally, support your right brain, the side of your brain associated with intuitive and nonlinear thinking.
Dr. Laurie Steelsmith is a licensed naturopathic physician and acupuncturist, and coauthor of the critically acclaimed books Great Sex, Naturally and Natural Choices for Women’s Health. A leading spokesperson on the topic of natural medicine, she has appeared on CNN’s HealthWatch, and numerous other television and radio programs. She is frequently quoted in popular publications, and has presented hundreds of public lectures and seminars in the United States and abroad. A graduate of Bastyr University, Dr. Steelsmith has had a private practice in Honolulu since 1993. For more information, visit: DrSteelsmith.com.
Alex Steelsmith coauthored the critically acclaimed books Great Sex, Naturally and Natural Choices for Women’s Health. He is also the author or coauthor of more than 200 articles on health-related topics that have appeared in The Honolulu Advertiser, Nature & Health magazine, Healthy Living Today, Vision Magazine, Hawaii Health Guide, and many other publications. A fine artist as well as a writer, Alex also illustrated Great Sex, Naturally and Natural Choices for Women’s Health as well as a number of his articles. To learn more, visit AlexSteelsmith.com.