Finding Freedom to Experience Life to the Fullest

Beat what’s holding you back
By Vasavi Kumar

Are you alive? I mean, I know you have a pulse, and your heart is beating, but are you alive? Last time I checked, being alive wasn’t just about breathing and taking up space. Being alive meant you were living your life the way you were intended to experience it—to the fullest.

So, when’s the last time you felt alive? Heart open, every cell in your body doing a happy dance, laughing uncontrollably for no reason? Here’s the thing: We all have the opportunity right now to feel that way. To feel completely, totally, utterly, unapologetically alive.

What’s stopping us from living that way? I’ll tell you what stops us. The drama. The “stress.” The people and circumstances in our life that drain us. The activities in our life that are boring, unfulfilling, and a pain.

Take a look back at the past year. How many people did you come across that sucked your energy dry? How did you spend your time? Was it spent putting out fires, scrambling to check off every single item on your to-do list, getting caught up in petty drama that just started to feel old and icky? Or were you defending yourself, your choices, your dreams, your desires, barely keeping afloat, trying to just make it through the day?

We have to remember that we create everything in our lives. I know it may seem counterintuitive, but the sooner you understand that you create the relationships, situations, and circumstances in your life, the sooner you will take back your power.

The point that we as human beings often miss is that right here, right now, we are free. We are free to do what we want, have what we want, and be what we want.

As Joseph Campbell beautifully states: “If you want the whole thing, the gods will give it to you. But you must be ready for it.”

What does it mean to be ready? I am going to assume that Joseph Campbell was not talking about being prepared, having all the skills and training necessary to receive the abundance of the Universe.

What I believe Campbell meant was that you have to be free mentally, emotionally, and spiritually to receive. If your life is filled with drama and chaos, how can you possibly feel free?

The key here is to become aware. Become aware of when you feel trapped. Most people believe that life happens to them. But when you take a look at it, life doesn’t just happen: we create the life we live. The sooner we realize that we do have a certain amount of control as to how our life looks, the sooner we can be set free from the shackles of our minds.

Our minds can play tricks on us. Our minds will have us believe that we need to protect and defend ourselves. Trust and surrender happens when we allow things to just be, without the compulsion to fix or control.

You are too precious to live a life that has you simply surviving. Right here, right now, know that you are already free. Free to do, be, and have anything you want. The mere fact that you have been born is the greatest gift. Will you cherish it or squander it? You get to choose.


3 Ways to Deal with People Who Leave You Drained

The quality of our lives is a direct reflection of the quality of our relationships. So how can we gracefully deal with people who suck our energy dry? Here are some thoughts:

Have a conversation with them about what you feel in their presence. The key here is to make it about you. It’s really easy to blame another person as the cause of your pain and suffering. But really, you have the issue with them. The person who is sucking your energy dry is in your life for a reason. We typically attract the people in our lives: they are a reflection of how we feel. More often than not if they remain in your life it is because you didn’t own up to how you really felt in their presence, so you allowed it to persist. Own it. And remember that anything can be resolved through communication.

Do your thing. No one is forcing you to hang out with certain people. Whether it be family or friends, you really do have a choice in how you want to spend your time. Of course there is a growing opportunity for you when you can be in the presence of an energy-draining person and still be relaxed. However, until you get to that point in your life, put yourself first. Honor yourself and your boundaries. When you practice doing that enough times, your resentment towards others will lessen and you will be able to be in the presence of people who may normally rock your boat.

Love them anyway. The evolved way of being is to love ‘em anyway. The person sucking your energy dry is either looking for attention or unhappy in their own life, and that is why they need to bring you down. Once you realize that, it’s actually much easier to have compassion and love them than reject them and make them wrong. Plus it’ll give you way more points in the karma department.


Licensed master social worker Vasavi Kumar coaches people to “get past their past” to take charge of their future. Vasavi is co-author of the best-selling book Succeeding in Spite of Everything. Learn more at